it's been too long
2026-07-18
hi all, it's been a really long time since i've last written anything for this page.
i'm not sure why that is - but i think i'm glad to be back rn. i'm not sure how much the aadi that started this page was okay with sharing on here, but i'd like to respect his wishes and try to keep up, and adhere his standards however lowly they are.
life's been treating me well - i made it to college, and it's been a year already. loads of stuff happened between the last proper update this site received and this one, which i'd love to talk about i suppose but idk i feel like if i sit down and write all about it in one go, i wouldn't do justice to the one who actually went through allat but yea
i'm not sure who i am writing for exactly - i suspect all the viewers that i see on my cloudflare dashboard are bots but it'd be great to have something left behind on this digital landscape i guess, and maybe someday i'll have a conversation with someone about something i've written. big dreams LOL - (on a perpendicular, i find myself using LOL much more than just lol these days, something about all the three letters being capitalised conveys something i'd have found mundane earlier) i don't really expect someone to actually come up to me for something they have read about on this site and that's cuz i don't really link it irl anywhere - it's still on my discord profile but that's about it.
i see that the last post was me wishing people a happy new year for 2024. so i shall be going thru the photos i have of that year, and try to encapsulate a bit of what i think i felt here:
i had a friend who was going thru a patch - the cracks started showing around the 2nd, he ended up threatening to use tranqs on me later on, after which i just called it a day istg an old friend also tried to connect with me, but i barely had grown up since and i messed it up but it's fine now that i look back to it (as though its been a couple of decades LOL) but yeah saraswati puja at school i was still lwk awk ash but idk, im not sure how i really behaved in school the last two years were blurry for me with allen and all going on. dude there was this quiz i went to that had a junior segment too and there was this kid with us who was praying so damn hard for qualifications LOL. speaking of quizzes, later on in the year i ended up coming second in this quiz that was supposed to be the pinnacle of my highschool quizzing career and that really ruffled me, i ended up crying a bit ahaha it was a bit weird for me then but it's okay. like i still feel i can describe the quiz from then, ALSO like i was talking to this friend i had right and i didnt really do voice notes and stuff and i ended up deciding that this was a good time to do so AND IT WAS SO FUCKING BAD LIKE AHHAHA HAH I CANT BRO like the way i spoke HOLY SHIT it was so not me like i asked her if she could forward them to me like a couple of weeks ago, AUHDUWHDUIAW i cant it was so terrible like auwhduiawhuidah i'm still freaking out about it, but yeah like i know for a fact that the me back then tried to convey what the quiz was like but AWHDUIAWHUIDHA naaa that was so terrible but anwywas they were nice enough to listen to the entire thing ion think id listen to smth as crappy as that if it were me. but yeaaa ok so its a trios quiz alright, we made it through the qualifiers and the semis okay they weren't too notable though i did notice that we weren't doing too good but yes anyways so in the finals okay we were doing TERRIBLEE like absolute buns - i like to take responsibility and stuff right so i took it all on me and i decided to gamble on this one question on the 3rd round ok AND IT WAS WRONG and we ended up losing even more points. ok so this is like the top 6 teams out of like a 100 smth in total, we were 5th then. the last round comes up and it was being held on the buzzers - i have a thing for buzzers okay, and i genuinely destroyed the other teams. NOBODY had ANYTHING on me, i solo carried that entire round so damn well - like i didnt even read the question, it was just a really quick skim for keywords and thassit i had the answer, like idk what took a hold of me then but i did so well, which makes the ending all the more bitter. it's going amazingly, i got question after question right, i think i missed just one question in the entire round so far. the team is in the first place and so it's like the second last question of the round, the penultimate question of the quiz. the question had something to do with mercury and hermes, the question asked for the GREEK equivalent - i COMPLETELY missed that and lo and behold answered ever so quickly, "mercury". i'd never been so down like that ever before it was just so saddening. we lost some 10 points on it, losing out 5 point lead we had over the home team. the last question came and some other team buzzed it before my brain could properly comprehend what happened. and thats it we ended up coming second. im sure theres a lot of lessons to take away from that but yeah. i'm not talking about allen cuz it wasn't all that enjoyable for me - back then i suppose i had already accepted what it was like and i know i was striving and doing well.
around the second week of feb i got this really nice waterbottle that vibrated when u dragged it across the floor. and then there was this school outing that happened, one i went to - it was nice and lwk worth rmmbring anyways when 12th started a bunch of things happened all at once, i got into this other batch that took place in the morning, my school was getting annoyed at me missing sm days - it all got sorted out in the end and stuff <3
i started using signal a whole lot - i had already been off of instagram for a bit, and then i convinced a bunch of my friends to use signal and that was that
loads of bougainvillea bloomed and it was really nice
also i was talking a whole lot in this mathematics server on discord but looking back rn i was far too conceited LOL
june, july and august were normal enough i suppose it was all that boring finishing your syllabus jee slop but i do think i had a larger number of crashouts at home then i normally did during the jee days. i started using forest a lot and it was really nice and clean and aesthetic, both forest and ypt. i didn't study wholeheartedly though something i regret still, like i felt like i wasn't really going anywhere with all i did.
i had forgotten i had switched to a light theme for a change - lwk looked really nice
i had made this AND/XOR gate that used water for a physics project which was nice
holy shit i was such a cornball (I STILL AM AHHAHAHA IDEK WHAT I AM DOING ANYMORE LIKE WHATS THE POINT OF WRITING ALL OF THIS AND POSTING IT HOLY ATTENTION SEEKING)
i used to use the alarmy app a lot and it worked wonders. though now i feel that all those sleep deprived moments could probably have been avoided. dude also i was so much better at maths compared to physics and chem like in the srg tests i had a 1:1:3 ratio in marks. i never was good at chem but like i ended up scoring as much as i did in physics. physics was always a disappointment then.
september was a weird phase - idk much about school but i had lost all faith in my chemistry. i ended up doing everything from scratch all over again (not for the last time LOL) i started scoring worse but like idek dude i was just so stupid
i downloaded a bunch of the granada sherlock holmes for my granma
i wish i were a bit more lwk in the things i did for school LOL
september was definitely weird for no reason
october was terrible, i got the pox, i didn't study at all and it was all just so -
diwali was so fun.
november and december weren't much better i was trying so hard to get my ass back in to shape for the first session but yea
mohit tiyagi's twitter was so unhinged idk if it still is.
i liked being up in the morning taking pictures of the windowview
december i found an old hard drive that had TONS of old childhood photographs it was so peak omg i loved going thru it and categorising it. also ended up trying immich then
oh i also got a wacom tablet that was so peak too
like lwk ion have much to talk about other than jee, i'm sure if i wanted to i could but meh i wanted to be so much better back then and rn ion think im doing too shabby
college has been so good to me and i feel like i'm finally me and it's so fun for me <3
i dont plan on auditing/drafting this but yea
**